Lumber Business

“Look pal! Just because I’m a leaf insect, doesn’t mean you can wipe your ass with me!”

Alternatives

“I refuse to get a smart phone.”

Breaking Braking

“I saw that his car was braking so I tried to push it back together.”

At the bar again

“Amazing! I didn’t know you could turn a cherry stem into a quilt inside your mouth!”

The Mouse of the house

“Go ahead and eat me! I’ve got enough cheese in me to clog you up for weeks!”

A tail chases its cat

Pick up line

“Looks like you’ve misplaced your abacus. Perhaps you could count on me from now on.”